He was my dad, but in the last year, I began to realize how much he had become my child and I was his parent. His dependence, life needs, trusting nature, and child-like qualities were present for 2 or 3 years, but my understanding of this dual-role interrelationship did not become clear until last year. So, when the Lord visited our house to welcome Dad home, I knew that my dad and my child left at the same time. The spiritual and emotional senses are doubly stirred as a result.
I am taking time to heal, re-engage with the Lord's Word in a more intentional way, and to write down this journey. I will not be entertaining requests to pastor, preach, or teach beyond my current commitment to "story" the gospels twice monthly with the Chapel ministry. As a caregiver, my Scripture study became much more devotional in nature. It's difficult to have a richer Word/prayer life when you're just catching a few moments here or there. No regrets whatsoever. There is a season for everything, and a new season has arrived for me. But I'm well aware that I'm not spiritually fit to rightly divide the Word, so I will take this time to experience the Lord, listen to Him, and prepare for this next season of life in Christ.
In every important way, I'm alright. In some lesser ways, I'm not, but I will be, and I'm closer to being the man the Lord would have me to be than I was 4 years ago. No regrets, my friends. That is liberating indeed!
January 22, 2018
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