New Year's Day 2018 began like most other days. Dad rose from bed after 8 A.M. I helped him dress. He drank two small half-cups of coffee and ate a Little Debbie's snack. That was his usual routine. But the difference on this day is that he soon fell asleep on the sofa. Dad would occasionally sneak a nap from time to time, but never as much as eventually happened on this day. He ate well at lunch and then sat back down to nap. Mid-afternoon, he and I went for a drive, returned about an hour or so later, and he sat down to nap. My sister brought his favorite fast-food (Wendy's chicken nuggets) for dinner, he ate them heartily as he always did, but when he finished, he sat down to nap. By 7:30 P.M., Dad was very lethargic and difficult to maneuver to bed, but I succeeded. He was up-and-down a couple of times, and having difficulty toileting, and about 4:30 A.M. Tuesday morning, I was able to tuck him in bed to get some more rest until daybreak. I had no idea how different that morning would be from the previous 1000 mornings.
Dad was asleep (mostly unconscious) all day Tuesday and the following night. His nurse checked him and he wasn't sick with any obvious condition. No fever, vomiting, flu, breathing difficulty, pneumonia, heart rate, pulse, or blood pressure irregularities. The nurse bathed him, and we agreed to let dad rest in bed. On Wednesday, January 3, we were more hopeful. The nurse checked dad, bathed him, dressed him, and dad was ready to walk. We helped him into the living room, and he sat in a reclined seat for several hours during the afternoon. That was a snow day, and dad glanced outside the window to notice, but did not enjoy the sight of it as he had done in the past. He sipped water, juice, ginger ale, and soup broth. He was very weak. We put him to bed about 6 or 7 PM, and he slept well again that night. On Thursday, the nurse checked him, bathed him, but dad was much weaker and could not walk. We wheeled him into the living room to sit up a while, but dad slept more during the afternoon. He sipped less water and broth than the previous day, and by the end of the day, I knew when we laid him in bed that he would not get up again. He didn't want to sit up. He didn't want food or drink. He wanted to sleep, and so he did. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. And Monday until 8:40 P.M. when the Lord visited our house.
Dad slept right into the next world. He was never sick, no fever, never had breathing distress, and no indications of pain. His passing is one of the most beautiful scenes I have ever witnessed. As a former pastor, I have witnessed the passing for several family members and friends, but not one as sweet or easy as dad's. Dad had maintained a steady, but rapid breathing rate for about 2 days, but when I went into his room at 8:30 P.M., I noticed a slight change in the pace, nothing too noticeable but distinctly different. I walked into the living room and told my sister and brother, "we need to pay attention to dad; I think he will leave us tonight." I had no idea it would be 10 minutes later! His passing was remarkably fast.
As his breathing faded, the three of us were at his side, talking to him, touching him, kissing him, telling him that we loved him, and letting him know he was OK and we would be OK. As he was passing, he slightly opened his right eye. His eyes had been closed for most of his last 3 days. I am thankful that dad could hear us, feel our touch, and see that we were present with him to say our goodbyes. As he was taking his final breaths, the three of us laid hands on him, prayed, and thanked the Lord for him and our family. He is a gift from God that we will always cherish.
January 20, 2018
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