A Burden? Or A Privilege?

I empathize with and greatly admire solo caregivers who have little or no help. I know there are many such people, but since I haven't walked in their shoes, I don't know how they do it. Never getting a break. Never being allowed to let their guard down and just rest for a while. Never having the flexibility to treat themselves to something that could refresh their mind or body. I could not have succeeded without having the support of my sister and brother who were also committed partners in dad's care and life at home.

Four years ago, our family made a commitment to help Dad live well at home for as long as possible. While I moved in to live with Dad, all three of us were committed to his care. In my first 2 years with him, we were more like roommates, and we did really well together. When our step-mother passed away in 2014, Dad was sad, but he seemed relieved to know that he would not have to live alone. Dad was highly functional, only needing modest helps and reminders from time to time. Respite breaks were not a big issue then, so staying and caring for dad 6-8 weeks between breaks was not difficult. I took some time away usually when my sister, a teacher, had school breaks. I was blessed the following year when my sister decided to retire, so that added more flexibility to our care for dad, especially considering that his needs and oversight were gradually increasing. I eventually settled into a monthly routine of taking one week off to refresh. While our brother continues in his working career, he was willing to come over and "dadsit" in the evening or on the weekend to give us a break when we needed. This partnership worked well for us.

We were blessed with love and respect for Dad, and love and respect for one another. Was dad-care and dad-sitting hard? Yes. Did we often feel clueless? Yes. Did we often feel stretched and pressured? Yes. Did we eventually wonder whether we could fulfill Dad's wish and stay home until he went Home? Yes. Was Dad a burden? NO!

We were privileged to honor our dad, to care for him, to give him as much opportunity to live happily and freely as his health allowed. Daddy gave far more than he received! The Lord gave us far more than we gave. We increased in love and blessings every day, so the assessment of these last four years is clear. It was a privilege and gift from God to be able to care for our dad and walk him to the finish line. If any family is blessed, then we are surely that family.