Tension Between The Lord's Providence & Dad's Decline

One of the faith struggles I experienced was the tension, not so much real, as just inside of me, between knowing my almighty, able, loving Lord with His beautifully crafted plans for us AND watching my Dad slowly decline mentally and physically. I trust the Lord. I believe Him. I love Him. I talk to Him. I try to listen to Him, and yes, that is a struggle. I know He is sovereign over us. I know His providential kingdom plans are unfolding according to His will, and that back-up plans don't exist. His plans cannot fail. The tension rose between my yearning for a different future for my dad (in this world), and the faith awareness that God had plans for Dad in the next world. Those plans are good and eternal, but those plans would not give Dad a better mind down here, or a return to physical vitality. Regardless of my dreams, desires, or prayers, Dad was making step-by-step preparation for his journey home to the next world.

The tension was not frustrating or disheartening. It was instructive. It fueled my faith to lean into the Lord. It incited me to pray for incredible things, difficult-to-imagine things rather than lesser things like better hearing, clearer thinking, physical stamina, vitality, or conversational ability. Those things are nice, but they are not eternal. The tension reminded me regularly that "the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." (Rom 6:23)

It is not crass or uncaring to point out that dementia, just like every other physical, mental, and emotional infirmity leading to bodily death, is the fallout from sin that was imported into this world by the serpent (Genesis 3). We were not created for this. We were not created for disease, dementia, or death. We were not created for a casket, a grave, or a tombstone. We were created for life with God and the enjoyment of Him. The just consequence for sowing sin is reaping death, but God offers redemption and life through His Son Jesus Christ. When we place our faith in Him for salvation, God turns bodily death into a temporary rest, and He makes our dead souls come to life, alive now and alive forever. So that when our physical bodies go to sleep (for a season until the resurrection), our souls (the real us) go to the Lord. Absent from the body means that every believer will go home and be present with the Lord. (II Cor 5:8)

Thankfully, the tension is temporary. The joy of the Lord will endure forever!